An Old Foe
by SenatorBonteri
Summary: In an alternate universe, the Joker faces off Lux Bonteri in one big rematch of a crossover fight! Who will triumph?


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away…

The rebel warlord, Lux Bonteri, sat alone in the study of his castle hideaway on Rhen Var. Aside from taking a break from fighting the empire, he was doing research on the past history of the planet and keeping half an eye on the computer screens linked to a bunch of probe droids he'd sent out to go and search for the whereabouts of his long separated but not forgotten wife, Ahsoka. He missed her dearly, but was doing his best to soldier on without her, for now.

Then suddenly, his holo-communicator started beeping. The person trying to reach him was using an unknown contact. He hoped it was his wife, but suspected it would be another call for help from a system that wanted to rid itself of the empire. Something of that nature, anyway. But when he answered it, he saw the face of a man he had hoped he'd seen the last of LONG AGO. The man who wore a purple suit and clown makeup to cover up his facial scars. The crazed lunatic who plagued his home planet of Onderon for a brief time before the empire rose. The maniacal mastermind who seemed to be so devilishly clever it took no less than an angry mob to drive him off, the first time. The man spoke up. Having been missing for ten years… he said, "Hello, Luxie! Did you miss me?"

Lux's eyes widened. "You again?!"

"Hahahahahahahaha! That's right, kiddo! You know, a lot has changed in this galaxy since your old uncle Joker's been away. New order, new rules, even a new Sith apprentice. But now I'm tanned, I'm rested, and I'm ready to give you a wedgie again! Yeah-Hahahahahahahaha!"

"I do NOT want to deal with you." Lux replied, eyes narrowed.

The clown prince of crime put on a fake sad look and said sarcastically, "Oh, I'm crushed! I would have thought you'd want to come and face me off one and one in my secret lair on Nar Shadaa. I've taken innocent hostages, you know."

"This is undoubtedly a trap. If I came, it would be with tons of help… to see, once and for all, that you don't take any more." Lux didn't look impressed.

The Joker persisted. "Oh, c'mon! Complete my challenge successfully… and I might tell you where your wife is. Yes, I know. Don't you want to be reunited with her? I know you do! Yeah-Hahahahahaha! Ahem. All this is assuming you play by the rules I've set up, kiddo. There's only one. Come face me alone. If you bring any help whatsoever, there isn't a chance I'll give you that piece of info you sooooOOO want. Hahahahahahahahaha! So, what's it gonna be, Bonteri? Risk your skin for your dearly beloved? Or stay home and be safe, knowing that you took the way of the coward, for once?"

With that, Lux was actually considering it. "How long will you give me to think about it?"

"Ten minutes." The vile fiend told him.

After rubbing his chin for a few seconds, Lux decided on it. With his heart overthinking his head, he replied, "Alright. You win. I'll be coming over there tomorrow. Alone. Send me the coordinates to your hideout."

"Will do, boy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Then he sent the planetary coordinates needed to find his lair on Nar Shadaa and switched off the holo-communication on his end.

Then Lux saw his Jedi protector behind him. "Warlord Bonteri. I must strongly advise against this."

"I know you're trying to protect me. But you heard what he said. I have to do this." Lux protested.

Durbero continued. "Purpose comes before feeling, and I don't think this guy is telling you the truth, anyway. I know his kind… and it isn't the common crook. This… is far worse. If Ahsoka truly loves you, she'll find her way back eventually. Trust the force." But despite the fact that he was most likely right, Lux ignored his Jedi protector's advice and prepared to go on the mission regardless.

Meanwhile, in the Joker's lair, he himself was commed by the person funding him in this attempt to get rid of Lux. Sleemo the Hutt called up and said in something in the common tongue, although he didn't speak the language as well as Huttese. "You sure your plan will work, clown? Sleemo would hate to think he spent his credits for nothing! Sleemo don't like being ripped off!"

The Joker replied by saying, "Yes, I'm sure this will work! You'll get Bonteri's head to deliver to the empire on a silver plate and the bounty that the empire's put on it. My own reward will be just knowing that I killed the poor little boy off. Hahahahahahahaha! Yeah-Hahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

After the Joker's obese accomplice ended the call, one the hostages the Joker took started to speak to him rather defiantly from the cage he'd put them inside. She was a beautiful Togruta girl, though no relation to Ahsoka, named Mariam Starski. "I've heard stories about the 'poor little boy' you're setting a trap for. I don't think you can do it. He's fought Sith Inquisitors before and won!"

Mr. J just laughed again. "Hehehehehehe! Yes, dearie, he may have the strength and skill to fight the force… and even give the empire a hard time. But does he have what it takes to defeat ME?!" As he finished saying that, a thunderclap could be heard in the background. "Hahahahahahaha!"

Now, despite his protectors' pleas not to embark on the perilous solo mission, Lux's mind was made up. He packed his full array of weapons and everything he figured he'd need to brave the Joker's lair. But before he left, Lillia Fortuna stopped him to say goodbye as she normally did. She said, "If he really does know where your wife is, and if you succeed on your mission, I doubt you will need me anymore."

Lux smiled and said, "Hey. Stay in touch. I'd still want to keep you around as a friend. Besides, the chances of succeeding are very small, to be honest. This time, I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. Something I don't know what to expect from at all. Something there's absolutely no guarantee I'll make it back from alive. But if I do succeed, it'll be more than worth it."

"He is just one man. How bad can he be?" She asked.

"Every Sith Inquisitor I encounter says that about me. Guess how well it usually turns out for them? Trust me, Lillia. This guy I'm up against is unpredictable and deadly. I might not make it." He told her.

She smiled to encourage him as she replied. "I think you will. You have been in many battles that would kill most of the strongest fighters off… and you are still around. I have confidence you will survive this." She smiled to encourage him as she replied.

"Thanks, friend. I hope you're right." Then they shared a hug before Lux went in his shuttle to Nar Shadaa.

Upon getting there, he parked his ship he'd rented for the sake of this mission in the nearest spaceport. Now, as he suspected, the planet was under the shared control of the Hutts and the evil galactic empire. So, he had to go in a disguise. "Halt!" An imperial Stormtrooper stopped him and asked to see his identification first thing after Lux walked off his vessel. Thankfully, the disguise he had on was just enough to fool the average imperial sucker. That, along with the fake identity he used, was enough to get him cleared. "Alright. You're good. Move along, Ishmael. You can go about your business." Then he had to rent a speeder just to make it to the area where he needed to go. It appeared to be an old abandoned theme park.

"Well… here goes nothing." Lux said. He peeled off his commoner's disguise and got into a suit of light armor he'd gotten from a storm trooper and repainted black and gold. Now, even though it wasn't going to help protect him from long range attacks, it might have ended up doing some good in close quarters combat. Then he made sure he had all the weapons he'd packed with him before entering the park through the main gate. As soon as he did, the main gate slammed shut behind him… as he suspected it would. There was no turning back now until he was finished.

Then he took a good look around the park. It had been old and abandoned for so long, it sure looked like one of the more forsaken places in the galaxy. That's when he heard someone shout, "There he is, boys! Get him!" The joker's goons, who appeared to be a mix of humans and Rhodians, sprung on him. Now most of them were just brawlers, but one or two were armed with blasters. Lux was smart and fast enough to gun the armed ones down first. But then the four who were unarmed reached him and started trying to beat him to death. Lux fought back by whacking two over the head with his blaster and using martial arts techniques on the other two until they too were knocked out.

Then the voice of the clown prince himself came ringing out through the speakers all around that were still working. "Welcome back, Luxie! I've been expecting you! Now, come on and face me off in the old abandoned fun house! Yeah-Hahahahahaha! Oohoohoohoohoohoo!" With that, Bonteri somehow knew that the faceoff was just going to be the hardest part. Getting there was also going to be challenging enough in and of itself.

Inside the Joker's fun house, the clown prince had a whole obstacle course planned just to try and make sure Lux might be killed along the way to him. But he didn't expect what came next. Suddenly, the emergency exit that the Joker had in the room he was in flung open. As a survivor of the Jedi purge made his way through it and started walking towards the him, the Joker rubbed his chin and said, "Hmm. It looks like either Luxie brought help and broke the rules of the game we were playing… or I have an uninvited guest on my hands."

The Jedi knight who had survived both the execution of Order 66 as well as the brutal massacre of the survivors on Nar Shadaa at an earlier date stated, "I'm here on my own, you crazed lunatic!"

Mr. J pushed a button at the control dashboard near him. The hostages he'd taken watched in hopes of being rescued by the Jedi. Then as their captor pulled out his machine gun, he replied, "Well then you'll make a very good practice dummy for me! Hahahahahaha! So, tell me. You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Then he fired a hail of laser bolts at the Jedi. "Hahahahahahahaha!"

Meanwhile, as he was making his way across the amusement park to try and find the fun house, Lux heard the rush of wind over his head. He looked up, knowing there was a ship directly over him. Sure enough, it was an old fashioned Republic gunship. But it had been repainted with the kind of colors… and symbols… that said it now had a new owner. It was the Joker's property now… and, from the look of the way its guns were turning to point at him, Lux knew it was going to be a huge obstacle thrown in his path. "Whoa!" He ducked for cover as the gunship fired a spread of laser bolts at him. But he barely managed to get to a safe enough cover spot on time. The gunship hovered over to a different angle so it could shoot at him again. Lux fired a shot or two from his standard army blaster at one of the gunship's laser canons. He managed to take out that one, but now he had to keep moving or be hit by the others. The canons fired at him again. Thankfully, he was fleet of foot enough to dart under the ship and out of reach of its guns. The ship tried moving around… and Lux did his best to stay underneath its shadow. But it could fly faster than he could run. But before it shot at him again, he took out another one of its canons. Now it had only one left. The one in front. It turned around to face its target… only to get that one knocked out as well. But then they tried to fire their guided missiles at him. He barely escaped them. Now, eventually, they destroyed a great portion of the surroundings before the people flying the gunship ran out of ammo. That was when they landed the ship and let the load of Joker goons and henchmen out to try and get Lux the hard way. Lux fired at the four henchmen with guns, as they came out. But when he was on the last three out of ten men who exited the gunship, his army blaster ran out of ammo. As they charged at him with their knives… and one of them even had a flame thrower… he took out a thermal detonator and blew them up all at once. That was the first explosive charge out of three he'd packed used up. As the gunship took off again, fleeing the scene, Lux decided to follow it… hoping it would lead him to where he needed to go. Along the way, he noticed puddles of what looked like toxic waste all around him. "Looks like I'm getting closer," he said to himself. Just a gut feeling told him that the nastier his surroundings got, the closer he was getting.

At the same time Lux had overcome the gunship obstacle, the Jedi charged at the Joker, having destroyed the machinegun somewhere in that fight, and was prepared to cut the clown prince down with his saber. But the Joker, having decided he'd toyed with his unplanned challenger long enough, just waited until his opponent got close enough, and then squeezed the stem of the decorative flower on his purple suit… and let out a squirt of acid at the oncoming attacker. "Hahahahahahaha!"

"AAAAUUUGH!" The Jedi screamed in agonizing pain upon getting hit in the chest with that toxic fluid and then fell down mortally injured. Then to make his death even more painful, the Joker put his hand down over his back and shocked the daylights out of his already doomed attacker with his powerful electric hand buzzer. "GAAAAAH!" Then he died after a few short seconds of that torture.

Mr. J turned to the hostages and said, "When Luxie's turn comes to die, it will be far more painful than what this lucky fellow just received! Hehehehehehe! Yeah-Hahahahahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" With that, most of the captives started to panic. Mariam started silently praying that, if there was any power of good at work in the galaxy that was older and stronger than the force, it would help Lux pull through.

A few minutes later, Lux made it to the fun house. He went through the front doors shortly before they slammed shut behind him as he knew they would. He'd reloaded his blaster, had two explosive rounds left, and still had his pistols, his hand gun, his hero's light saber, his spear that was made out of the hardest substance in the galaxy, and his enchanted steel blade which had been a gift from a friend and ally as a token of thanks for saving her planet. He doubted he'd need his force immunity amulet, but he had that on him as well. He was all set to face his oldest personal archenemy, now… or so he hoped. The floor underneath him started to give way once he took a few steps. Thankfully, he hopped off that spot in the floor just in time not to fall into a pit full of pointy spikes which would have skewered him. "Yikes! That was close! He obviously isn't making this easy for me." Lux pressed on with all due caution.

"Oh yeah. You think? Yeah-Hahahahahaha!" The Joker's voice came through the speakers again.

"What was the real reason you decided to bait me into this trap, clown?" The hero asked as he saw a hallway with swinging axe blades and buzz saws ahead of him. He knew he was going to have to be careful getting through this building.

As Lux started to slowly and carefully evade the moving blades and saws, using his lightsaber to save himself if he was about to get cut anyway, the Joker said, "I see you've picked up a lot of useful skills, Luxie. I'm glad. I could use a challenge! Nobody's been able to give me one since I left my native system. That was 11 years ago, believe it or not! You've had time to get tougher since we last met. But then again, so have I. Hehehehehe! Haha!"

Lux reached the end of the hall way safely. He nearly got killed a few times, but he made it. Then some Rhodian and Nautaloidian henchmen and goons started attacking him with their blaster pistols. He got a flesh wound in his lower right arm, but he was fast enough to cut them all down with his saber. After that, he said to the Joker, "Why? Why do you want me gone anyway? What did I ever do to you?"

"Hahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha!" After the crazy clown had a laughing fit, he said, "It's not about something you did to me. It's about sending the galaxy a message." Lux now knew that something Durbero, his Jedi protector had told him earlier was right. That some men weren't after anything logical, like money, power, or revenge… and that was the kind of person weren't the kind that could be bought, bullied, intimidated, or negotiated with. Some men just wanted to watch the world burn. Then the Joker confirmed that this was the case when he finished his explanation. "The message is… everything burns!"

After Lux had made it through almost the whole fun house, he came to the room just outside the one the Joker and the hostages he took were in. The clown prince had one more delay planned for him though. It suddenly came oozing out of the vent shaft above the doors leading into that room. As it took shape in front of him, Lux could see that was becoming a humanoid monster made entirely out of clay. When the creature had finished forming itself, it let out a grunt and balled its fists, getting into a fighting ready stance. "RRRRhhhrrruh!"

"You'll face me soon, kid. IF you can get past THAT! Hahahahahaha!" Taunting was the name of the game for Mr. J. Lux shot at the creature with his blaster, but the thing threw a bit of clay at him that quickly hardened into a ceramic sculpture before it hit him in the chest really hard.

It was a good thing Lux had light armor on… or it would have hurt him much more than it did. "Ngh!" Then the creature charged up and punched Lux in the gut so hard he stumbled back a yard or two. "OW! Man, that's one strong clay creature!"

"Heheheheheh…" The creature laughed a little as if to say thank you for the compliment. But that wasn't going to stop it from doing its job. It charged again. Lux brought out his lightsaber and stabbed the creature when it got close enough to him again. But it only put its hand on the hilt and pulled Lux towards it and got ready to punch him in the face. Lux ducked when he saw the thing's giant fist coming at him. The blow missed by an inch. Then Lux pulled his saber out of the creature and ran back a few paces down the hall. The creature tried to throw another sculpture at the back of Bonteri's head and knock him out. But he missed. Then Lux threw a thermal detonator at the thing as it was five feet away from him… and hit it in the belly. It exploded on contact! "WHHHHAAAAAOOOOWWW!" That was the last noise the creature made before it blew up and turned into a scattered heap of hardened into baked clay. It was defeated. Lux was now clear to fight the Joker. But… he was very, very exhausted, at this point. Nonetheless, he went through the doors.

Then the Joker told his hostages, "Alright, people. Enjoy the main event!" He paused and put on a wicked grin. "The end of the Bonteri Chronicles Yeah-Hahahahahaha!." Upon getting inside, Lux saw the Joker sitting on a chair on the other end of the room as if it were a throne. The control dashboard for the fun house wasn't too far away from it. But the chair, the control dashboard, and the cages with the hostages inside were all 70 feet away in this very large room… and up a few stairs. "Welcome, Luxie! We meet again, at long last!" The Joker said with a big evil smile on his face.

Lux drew his blaster. "Free the hostages and give me the information you promised."

Mr. J drew his own paired pistols as he replied, "Only if you defeat me. Now, let's see what you're made of, boy! Hahahahahaha!" Then he started shooting at Lux wildly. Lux darted out of the way as he shot back. The clown prince of crime ducked and started to move around as well. Lux found cover and peeked out from behind it. The Joker tried to shoot at Lux again, but Lux hid just on time. "You can't hide forever, kid. Hahahahahaha!" The Joker clapped his hands together twice. With that, a pair of savage Anubas came running towards him ready to claw and bite. Lux barely saw them in time to shoot one of them. But then his blaster had run out of ammo again. The second one nearly had him if he hadn't pulled out his spear and impaled it as it tried to pounce. That served as enough of a distraction to the point where the Joker had snuck up to Lux's position and threw him over his shoulder and onto the ground. "Hehehehehehe! Hahahahaha!" Lux opened his eyes after hitting the floor as the Joker exclaimed, "Oh, how I've waited for this!"

"Ugh!" Lux recovered just in time to notice he was about to be stepped on by the Joker's foot. He rolled out of the way of that. But then the Joker kicked him as he tried to get up. "Augh!"

Lux had left his spear inside the second Anuba. He tried to reach for one of his pistols, but the Joker kicked him again… and again… and again, as he sang, "Lux Bonteri's fallen down!" He kicked him. "On the ground…" He kicked him again. "With a big THUD sound." He pulled out his cane and whacked his opponent over the head with it. Lux barely stayed conscious after that blow. "Lux Bonteri's fallen down!" He kicked him one more time, REALLY HARD. "I'm SO happy!"

By this time, Lux was bruised, beaten, and even bloody in a few places. His armor didn't look so impressive anymore… and was going to need repair if he survived this. Then the Joker pulled out his electric hand buzzer and shocked Lux for a few seconds with it. "Aaaauugh!" Lux yelled in pain. Then he got kicked one last time.

As Lux was lying down on the floor in the corner of the room, the hostages had all but lost hope. The Joker noticed him trying to get up and failing, though. "I've never seen you so determined, Lux!" He pulled out his pistol again as he saw Lux reaching for his own weapons. "Don't bother! You've already lost." Lux looked at his almost certain death. He now knew Durbero was right when he said he shouldn't have walked into the trap. Then two of the Joker's goons came in with their fists ready. Lux got to his feet, as much as he'd received a harsh beating… and looked his enemy in the eye, as a henchman with a machinegun showed up. Those thugs didn't shoot, though. They knew their boss's massive ego would never allow anyone else the honor of killing Bonteri, at this point. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker cackled and said, "Any last words?"

Lux looked at the hostages… then thought of Ahsoka… and said, "Forgive me. I've failed you all. I believe a power greater than mine makes it impossible for me to escape, this time. But there is STILL hope for the future. When this galaxy is ready for a new and better life… it will all come to pass. Until then, trust in the force and do what you know is right. Always." Then he looked the Joker in the eyes and said. "Alright. I'm ready."

"That was beautiful, Luxie. Now, Ta-Ta!" Then he PULLED THE TRIGGER on his pistol... only to let out a red flag with the word BANG written on it. "Huh?! Uh… oh!"

Then, seeing his chance, Lux shot all three of the Joker's henchmen down with his own paired pistols and pointed them at the Joker! "Gotcha!" The Joker tried to go for his trick flower… but it was too late. Lux shot him in the gut seven times before punching him in the face and knocking him down with all the strength he could muster. Yes, he found his strength renewed. As if a power stronger than the force had given him the ability to keep fighting. Lux used the lightsaber to cut the flower off the Joker's suit. Then he pointed it at the Joker's throat. With that, the Joker knew it was hopeless. The tables had turned around. Bonteri said, "Now. It's time to keep your end of the bargain. Tell me where my wife is."

"Hahahahaha!" The Joker laughed weakly. "Did I say it was a promise? Hahahaha! Nooooooo. I said I MIGHT tell you. I never said I would for certain." Lux's eyes narrowed. "Hahahahahahahahaha!" With that, Lux knocked the guy out cold with a stun blast from his pistol, put him in cuffs, and had him frozen in carbonite shortly after the mission was done.

When Lux opened the cages and freed the hostages… Mariam Starski, being the Togruta among them, gave him a grateful hug. Lux was a bit taken back, but he let it happen. He hugged back and said, "No need to thank me." It gave him a sad reminder of Ahsoka, in a way. But at least he'd gotten one more enemy of his out of the way. He'd return home and go back to his life until the next time he got called into action.

The End.


End file.
